Delivering a eulogy can be one of the most emotional and important moments in a person’s life. Whether you’re standing in front of a small group of close friends or a large gathering of mourners, your words have the power to honour, heal and bring comfort. A well-prepared eulogy offers a lasting tribute to someone’s life, but for many people, the idea of giving one can feel overwhelming.
After the passing of a loved one, families often rely on funeral homes for guidance not only in arranging the ceremony but also in choosing who will speak and what should be said. If you’ve been asked to give a eulogy, you’re likely feeling the weight of doing justice to the memory of someone you cared about. Fortunately, with some thoughtful preparation and a clear understanding of what works—and what doesn’t—you can craft a tribute that is both respectful and deeply meaningful.
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech or written piece that praises and remembers someone who has died. Usually delivered during a funeral or memorial service, it gives mourners a glimpse into the person’s life, achievements, and character. It may include personal stories, important milestones and reflections on the legacy they leave behind.
Tips for Writing a Thoughtful Eulogy
- Start with a Plan
Begin by gathering your thoughts. Reflect on your relationship with the person and consider the key moments that stand out. What made them unique? What did they love doing? What will people remember most? - Keep It Personal
Share anecdotes or moments that reflect the person’s spirit. These could be heartfelt, humorous or a mixture of both. Personal stories make the eulogy authentic and relatable, helping others connect with your words. Funeral homes also offer opportunities to include audio or visual presentations, so if you’re planning to read a eulogy alongside a slideshow or video, be sure to coordinate this in advance. Their staff are trained to support grieving families and understand the emotional weight that comes with preparing a tribute. - Include Key Life Details
It’s helpful to mention major life events, such as their birthplace, education, career, family, and passions. This gives context and helps paint a fuller picture for those who may not have known the deceased as well. - Speak with Honesty and Warmth
Use simple, clear language. Speak from the heart and let your emotions come through naturally. You don’t need to be overly formal—being genuine is far more powerful. - Practise and Time It
A good length for a eulogy is typically between 5 and 10 minutes. Practise reading it out loud to ensure it flows well and stays within the time frame.
What to Avoid in a Eulogy
- Avoid Controversial or Negative Stories
Even if the person had a complex or difficult past, a eulogy is not the time to delve into sensitive or divisive topics. Focus on the positives and the lessons learned. - Don’t Make It About You
While personal stories are important, avoid turning the eulogy into a reflection solely on your own feelings. Keep the focus on the person you’re honouring. - Skip the Clichés
Phrases like “they’re in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason” may not bring comfort to everyone. Instead, use sincere language that reflects your personal memories. - Don’t Read It for the First Time at the Service
Practising beforehand helps you become familiar with the content, manage your emotions, and ensure a smoother delivery. - Avoid Overly Complex Language or Jargon
Use everyday language. The goal is to be understood and to connect, not to impress with big words.
Funeral homes can offer helpful resources for anyone preparing a eulogy. Many provide guidance on structure, tone, and delivery, and may even offer sample templates or past examples. If you’re unsure about what’s appropriate or how to start, ask the funeral director for advice.
Giving a eulogy is a gift of love and remembrance. While it may feel daunting, it’s also an opportunity to celebrate a life and offer comfort to those gathered. If you’re feeling nervous, remember: the people in the room are not there to judge—they are there to remember and support each other.
If you become emotional during the speech, pause, take a breath, and continue when you’re ready. Most people will appreciate the sincerity and bravery it takes to speak during such a meaningful moment.
In the end, a good eulogy doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to be honest. With thought, care and support from funeral homes or loved ones, you can honour someone’s memory in a way that is beautiful and lasting.
